


Burned

by ContrivedCircus



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Disturbing Themes, First Time for Everything Fest, Gon and Killua established relationship, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-03-21 20:44:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13748904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ContrivedCircus/pseuds/ContrivedCircus
Summary: Killua and Gon are preparing to celebrate their one year anniversary, and talks of taking their relationship to the 'next level' have come up. However, neither of them understands exactly how two men express their love, and Killua can't help becoming extremely embarrassed whenever Gon tries to touch him.Gon is at a loss about what to do when Hisoka appears. The magician offers to train him on how to properly pleasure Killua, in exchange for sating his current boredom. It's an offer Gon can't refuse.However, when has trusting Hisoka ever been a good idea?





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> //Content Warning: Disturbing themes//  
> **A heads up: I'm aware the KilluGon-Ao3Feed bot on Tumblr picked up on this fic, however, this first chapter contains HEAVY HisoGon. It may not be what you were looking for.**

Fresh air floods the hotel room, the afternoon sun casting long, aurulent strips across the wood floor. Behind him, Killua explores the suite, his shoes tapping against the floor as he wanders from room-to-room. They had really splurged this time, but it’s nearly their one year anniversary, and they had previously discussed taking their relationship to the _next level_ . Wouldn’t they want such a memorable moment to be in a nicer place?  
  
Or at the time, Gon had thought Killua wanted as much.  
  
Leaning half-way out of the window several stories up, Gon takes in the warmth of the sunlight on his face, the cool Spring breeze, and the expanse of the city laid out before him. Seven stories below, the streets are crowded with the bustle of afternoon traffic, car horns, and shouts faintly interrupting their enjoyment of this new space. On both sides of Gon, the thin curtains dance in the breeze. From behind him, Killua’s footsteps approach once more.  
  
“I’m gonna go pick up some things. Do you want anything?” Killua’s tone is even, unchanged. The moment is overwhelmingly calm and mundane. There is a certain type of comfort between them that is as warm as the sun, it feels like home.

“I'm okay, but are you really gonna go right now? We just got here.” Gon turns to face Killua, his words are laced with a restless whine. They had been traveling all day, this is the first time they've been alone. Though, perhaps his desire to keep Killua in the suite is not wholly innocent.

“All the good stuff is gonna be gone if we wait. Besides, I want to feel out the area.”

Killua digs his hands into the pockets of his shorts, his gaze sliding away from Gon’s with subtle embarrassment.  
A year earlier, the former assassin had screamed his confession, his face a furious red and his hands tightly balled into fists as he’d fumed in the face of Gon. The Zoldyck had appeared angry, enraged, the fullness of his emotions erupting like an overdue volcano. His chest heaved in heavy, anxious breaths as he glared at Gon who stood firmly confused but very willing to hear his friend out.  
  
At the time, their feelings towards each other had been beyond their understanding. It’s not as though Mito taught Gon about love between two men, nor had Killua reached such a point in his training. For them, the entire experience had been messy, confusing, but after a year they had finally settled into a comfortable state of being again.  
  
Gon had never before felt anything as warm as Killua. Nor had Killua felt anything warmer than Gon.

“I guess that makes sense. Are you gonna bring back food?” Gon is a combination of things, but ‘hungry’ currently takes priority.  
  
“I’ll bring back snacks, but I was hoping to try out a place I’ve read about online-” Spreading his arms wide, the Zoldyck grins. “Supposably, they have the world’s second largest burger!”  
  
Gon’s mouth waters at the thought of biting into an enormous, juicy burger. Neither two had tasted a bite of food since breakfast, but holding out for a burger would make it that much better.  
  
“Okay! I can wait then!” The hunter nods in determination at the former assassin, his eyes reflecting the usual fire that Killua loves to see. Since the two had first met, Gon has always been the most important one to him, until Alluka at least. But Alluka had found her own desire, to train with Bisky, to be powerful and unneeding of Killua’s protection. At this very moment, Killua is not positive just where the two have gone to train, but the former assassin looks forward to the day when the three of them can spend time together.  
  
The image in his mind of the three of them together; is reminiscent of a family.

“Then I’ll be back later. Ah, and text me if you want me to pick anything up.” Turning, Killua checks to make sure he has his wallet and the keycard for the hotel. As he leaves, he can feel Gon’s eyes on him, embarrassment burning up his cheeks even as the door to the suite closes behind him. It has already been so many years, yet Gon’s passion still gets to him.

Alone in the hotel room, the hunter glances around the spacious suite. There is only one queen sized bed, a full, connected kitchen, as well as a large bathroom with a glass shower. The two do not need such space, but as he looks around, the hunter cannot help the lewd thoughts passing through his mind. Although he doesn’t exactly know how two men have sex, he is overly aware of his desire to touch Killua. It is beyond the usual touching shared between them. When they kiss, his hands desperately want to explore all of the skin usually hidden beneath clothing. But whenever he would try, Killua would get embarrassed and pull away. With that in mind, Gon had come to the conclusion that he was doing something wrong.  
  
How do you research something like that though?  
  
Sighing, he retreats to his bag, pulling out some clean clothes before marching into the bathroom for an overdue shower. Even if he doesn’t understand how exactly he should be easing into sex with Killua, it’s becoming more difficult to stop thinking about.  
  
Throughout his shower, Gon makes a conscious effort not to think about Killua. Instead, he tries to think about Aunt Mito at home on whale island, and the people who have helped him throughout the years. It is all a fruitless effort to soften his erection, but he is practicing self-restraint.  
  
As the hunter steps out of the shower, water droplets rolling off his skin, he becomes aware of another presence inside the suite. One which is uninvited.  
  
Grabbing a towel, he wraps it around his waist without a second glance to the pile of neatly folded clean clothes on the counter. Approaching with due caution, he makes no effort to conceal his aura as he crosses the bathroom to the doorway, pulling the door open to reveal the bedroom.  
  
To his left, the curtains continue to dance in the Spring breeze, their display somewhat obscuring the figure leaning against the open window where Gon had been earlier.  
  
“Yo~.♡”

Gon’s aura flares as he takes up a defensive position, Hisoka taps a single playing card against his chin as he watches the boy. Presently, he is not advancing in a threatening manner, but the hunter has learned to never be too certain when dealing with Hisoka.  
  
“What are you doing here? How did you find us?” Gon’s accusatory words bear no effect on the jester, his lips still holding the same level of amusement as they had years ago when Gon was only twelve. As the breeze chills Gon’s still wet skin, Hisoka lowers his card.  
  
“Ah, I have explained this to you before, but perhaps you don’t remember. It’s very easy to track someone online.”  
  
Gon does not relax even when Hisoka puts his card away. While Hisoka does not go out of his way to attack them, he is not quite an ally either.  
  
“Why are you here?” Gon finally spits out. His aura is more concentrated now, more powerful, he is only releasing a five percent of his full strength.  
  
“Illumi tells me you and Killua have begun a beautiful new relationship. Is that true?” The magician’s voice is silky, even time cannot change some of the more unsettling aspects of a person. It’s unfortunate time cannot erase Hisoka entirely.  
  
“That’s none of your business.” The hunter responds.  
  
“You’re right, a concern like that belongs to the Zoldyck family. I’m sure you two are aware of the displeasure the family feels, it’s only a matter of time before _you_ become their latest victim.” There is a short laugh from Hisoka. Over the past few years, Hisoka’s interest in Gon has waned. The jester no longer feigns to save Gon’s life, nor does he fantasize about fighting him. Although the hunter finds the change curious, he has never dared to question it.  
  
“That doesn’t matter, Hisoka. If that happens then I’ll protect Killua and we’ll run.” The determination in Gon’s voice widens the jester’s smile. Although Gon was not interesting anymore, he has missed that undue flame.  
  
“I see, then it is true.” Hisoka’s arms cross, golden eyes dragging over the figure of the half-nude boy still dripping wet from his shower. The jester also does not fail to observe the out-of-place erection tinting the towel between his legs. Another short laugh draws from the magician as he meets Gon’s determined gaze once more.  
  
“It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. It’s nobody else’s business now. Killua and I can do whatever we want.” The hunter’s eyebrows draw down in irritation.  
  
“I’m not here to tell you two to break up. Your relationship is of no interest to me.” Hisoka’s response highlights the obvious ulterior motive. The magician has always been sneaky, manipulative, and scheming. There is always something more behind his words, it is one of the things which makes dealing with Hisoka so annoying.  
  
“Then why are you here?” Gon has already asked this question, yet he repeats it in hopes that Hisoka will actually answer him this time.  
  
“To offer my assistance of course.” The magician’s smile calms, rather than holding a glint of malice, he smiles in the same friendly way he had when they had first met. It is unnerving after all these years.  
  
“Assistance with what? We don’t need your help.” Gon’s aura begins to relax the longer this conversation goes on for. No longer in a defensive position, he merely frowns at the jester standing a few feet away.  
  
“There are some things you can only learn through experience. Things two men may do in a relationship. I’m sure you know what I mean. After-all, you seem quite excited to see me~.♡” Hisoka gestures to Gon’s erection, his coy laugh ringing out as Gon’s hands swiftly move to cover himself.  
  
“Leave! I don’t need your help! We’ll figure it out on our own!” It is Gon’s turn to be embarrassed. Although Killua has seen him hard before, and although he has seen Killua hard, Hisoka’s gaze is heavy. Since his first encounter with the bizarre magician, it has always felt as though Hisoka could somehow see through him to all of his weaknesses.  
  
“Are you sure about that?” The magician persists.  
  
“I’m sure, I don’t want your help, Hisoka.” The anger reflected in Gon’s gaze couples with the tense tone in his voice. Although Hisoka and him have cooperated to accomplish similar goals, Gon wants nothing to do with him.  
  
“But what if I told you,” Hisoka pushes away from the window sill, taking slow steps towards Gon whose aura spikes in response. “That I know exactly how Killua likes to be touched?”  
  
The hunter’s expression is unfaltering, his eyes carefully observing each small movement made by the magician. How could Hisoka know something like that?  
  
“You’re lying. Killua has never been with anybody else, especially not you.” Gon’s frown deepens as Hisoka comes to a pause about two feet away. Resting the back of one hand on his hip, the magician raises his other hand in a questioning gesture.  
  
“That’s true, but I have enough experience to know exactly how someone like Killua would like to be touched. Just like nen specialty, every person can be categorized sexually.” Hisoka’s confidence subtly offsets the hunter, his frown beginning to dissipate as he considers Hisoka’s words. Even if what he’s saying is true, that doesn’t mean he should trust Hisoka.  
  
“Then I’ll figure that out on my own.” Although Gon appears to be less guarded now, he still refuses to bite, a resolve which is steadily growing weaker.  
  
Is he more afraid of disappointing Killua than of being tricked by Hisoka?  
  
The jester does not miss the minuscule crack in Gon’s resolution, one hand lowering to hang by his side as his golden eyes focus more pointedly on the hunter.  
  
“Are you sure? With all the training you’ve done to become as strong as you are, you don’t think you need training for something like this as well~?” The magician’s suggestion that Gon is simply being arrogant deepens the crack within Gon. The hunter’s expression changes once again, the wheels in his mind beginning to turn.  
  
“Training?” The hunter repeats quietly to himself. Although he does not trust Hisoka, what he’s saying makes sense.  
  
“Yes, when it comes to two men, there is a specific way to do it. If you do it incorrectly, you’ll only injure him.” The jester replies with the same confident, smooth voice. He has hooked Gon, now all that is left is to slowly reel him in.  
  
“But why should I train with you? If that’s how it is, then I should be able to find someone else to teach me.” The hunter’s tone is no longer accusatory, instead, he sounds less certain. It is far easier to manipulate someone who is facing the unknown.  
  
“Typically, only someone you know should train you. Otherwise, they could take advantage of you. For such a strong, curious boy, You could be taken in quite easily. However, you are also a fast learner. I predict I could train you in an hour, two if I’m being _detailed_ .” Hisoka guards his expression, preventing a malicious smile from curling his lips. Gon is no longer defensive, no longer distrustful or prepared for attack. Although he has aged, he is still the curious boy he has always been. Such an opportunity must be carefully taken.  
  
“How do I know that you won’t take advantage of me?” Gon questions Hisoka, uncertainty once again underlining his words. He is being rightfully cautious, a detail which excites the magician.  
  
“Had that been my goal, I would’ve done so already. After-all, we’ve known each other quite intimately for a few years now, have we not?” Hisoka advances once more, taking a single step towards Gon to bring the distance between them down to less than a foot. From here, he can smell the hotel shampoo Gon had used and hear the pattern of his breathing.  
  
“I guess that’s true.” Gon continues to mull over Hisoka’s offer, nothing Hisoka ever offered came free of strings. Surely there is something he wants from this.  
  
“Why are you offering to help me?” He questions.  
  
“At the moment, I have nothing else to do. Not until a few _other_ things fall into place. Think of it as a mutual benefit. I won’t be bored and you’ll learn something quite valuable. As it stands, you have the most to gain from this, wouldn’t you agree?” A controlled smile crosses Hisoka’s face, golden eyes bearing down the hunter. Gon has grown a few inches, though he is nowhere near the towering height of which Hisoka stands.  
  
“Fine… But you better not be lying… Killua’s going to be back soon, so I don’t have a lot of time.” Gon’s aura returns to normal, a gentle coating around his body radiating warmth. For Hisoka, the slow venture of his hand to Gon’s cheek feels like a decade.  
  
Pressing his palm gently against Gon’s cheek, the magician motions with his other hand to the bed.  
  
“Take off your towel and get on the bed. I’ll be back in a few minutes.~♧” Hisoka pulls his hand back from Gon’s face, the gentle touch had only been meant to solidify the boy’s decision. Any roughness so early on will indefinitely put him off.  
  
“Where are you going?” Gon asks as though offended that Hisoka would offer to teach him only to leave immediately after.  
  
“There is something very important you need for this. I’m going to get it, it’s not the type of thing you walk around with usually. Most people anyway.” Hisoka steps away, turning back towards the window before vanishing. Redirecting his attention to the towel around his waist, the hunter’s face reddens as he catches sight of his still very present erection. It is beginning to feel uncomfortable, a pulsating pain of denial radiating from near his balls.  
  
With the suite empty once more, Gon once again takes notice of the fresh scent allotted by the breeze, his feet carrying him to the bathroom where he rubs the towel through his hair, brushing the black locks before leaving the towel hanging on the nearby rod.  
  
Naked, Gon walks back to the bedroom, taking a seat on the bed to wait for Hisoka’s return.  
Everything about what he’s doing is insane. Under normal circumstances, the hunter would have said no. It would be more fun if Killua and him explored each others bodies naturally. That’s how a man and a woman do it right?  
But when Hisoka had suggested that he could injure Killua, when Gon realized he didn’t want to disappoint Killua, that had been what changed things. More than anything, Gon wanted to make Killua happy. Making him feel good is just an extension of that happiness.  
  
It feels as though hours have passed before Hisoka appears in the window again. This time, the jester is holding a plastic bag in one hand, still smiling as he raises the bag before approaching the bed.  
“We’ll get to this item last. How much time did you say we have?” Hisoka asks. He has not yet made another move to touch Gon, but his presence feels incredibly heavy somehow.  
  
“Probably an hour… I don’t know what he’s picking up, but we have plans tonight…” With Gon’s response, Hisoka moves to stand in front of the boy, one hand coming to rest on the hunter’s shoulder as he pushes him back on the bed.  
  
“Then I won’t be as detailed as I would like. However, I’ll teach you the important parts.” One of Hisoka’s knees comes to rest on the bed beside Gon’s thighs, his lips lowering near the hunter’s neck as he begins to speak again.  
  
“Lesson one, the neck is always a good place to start. Some people are sensitive in this area specifically, but you can begin here and work your way up to their ear…” The jester’s words are cut off as he begins to bite and lick gently at Gon’s neck. The sensation feels strange to the hunter, his hands balling into fists as he allows the odd feeling.  
  
Without stopping, Hisoka trails the small bites up to Gon’s ear, taking his earlobe between his teeth before tugging gently. This action earns him a small response from the hunter, Gon’s pulse beginning to quicken as the jester’s teeth continue to pull and nip at his ear. At the same time, Hisoka presses one hand to Gon’s chest, running his fingers over the boy’s nipples before trailing his hand over the hunter’s stomach. He is exploring Gon’s body, slowly, feeling over the warmed skin riddled with oblong scars.  
  
“Killua seems like the type to enjoy having his nipples played with. While you’re doing this, try touching him there too. Like this~.” Hisoka trails his fingertips back up to Gon’s nipples, gently rubbing them with the lightest of touches before pinching them between two fingers. The hunter groans quietly in response to the feeling, encouraging Hisoka’s adventurous hands. Internally, depravity has begun to sink into the magician’s mind. He is not here by accident, nor is he preparing to ravish the boy’s body by accident. This has all been carefully planned. Gon is the star of a show he does not know is taking place.

“Hisoka…” Gon complains as the jester continues to pinch and tug at his nipples.  
  
“Hmm? I can go faster if you want~.” Realistically, Hisoka wants to take his time carefully pulling Gon apart. To peel away strips of Gon, to break him down into nothing and expose even the tiniest aspects of his being. Ideally, Hisoka would like at least a month to sufficiently ruin Gon. But time is not something they have right now, so instead, the jester will enjoy as much as he can of this short job.  
  
“I don’t want Killua to catch us.” The hunter complains as Hisoka’s mouth travels down to his jaw. Kissing along the delicate bone, the magician's fingers graze mere centimeters above the head of Gon’s swollen cock. He is teasing him only slightly.  
  
“Ah, then I won’t explain what I’m doing, it’ll be up to you to remember it~.♤”  
  
Their lips meet as Hisoka’s hand continues to roam Gon’s body. He is making a point of not touching the hunter’s length, instead, he traces his fingers around it, dipping between Gon’s thighs and over his balls before trailing back up to his chest. The boy is still new to kissing, still awkward as Hisoka’s tongue invades his mouth. Suddenly, Gon has become less aware that it is the afternoon, that Killua is returning, or even of the Spring breeze tickling his bare skin. All that exists right now is Hisoka’s body against his, the heat of his mouth on his own, and the hand which has not yet touched the one place he wants to be touched.  
  
Moaning quietly against Hisoka’s mouth, the jester’s fingers trace over Gon’s balls, teasing him in an attempt to make the boy beg for it. They may not have a lot of time, but the jester still enjoys his games.  
Gon’s body is still pure, unmarked by another, and available. By the end of this, Hisoka wants the boy to be wrapped in nothing but misery. This is not a lesson on pleasuring Killua, this is a lesson on trust and ignorance.  
  
Gon’s hands find their way to Hisoka’s back, tugging on his clothes, as he spreads his legs a little wider. It is almost disappointing how easily Gon has given himself up to Hisoka. Like a whore desperate to be fucked, the hunter is presenting himself as his overly eager hands attempt to remove the magician’s clothes.  
  
Smirking at the ease of this deconstruction, Hisoka breaks the kiss. Pulling his top off, he casts it aside before reaching down to grab Gon by the waist. Sliding him to the middle of the bed, the magician works himself in between Gon’s legs, taking note of the blush painting the boy’s cheeks now. It’s a _pity_ such a lovely couple is about to be torn apart.  
  
The jester’s hand finally comes to wrap around Gon’s dick, giving him a few pumps as he blissfully ignores his own erection. The mountain boy moans loudly into the feeling, his back arching with pleasure as his eyes slide shut. He is vulnerable, trusting, he is giving Hisoka his body under the assumption that he will be learning something useful and new. Gon has felt the violence of Hisoka’s hand with intent behind it, he has never felt the violence of Hisoka’s touch under the guise of _pleasure._  
Each brush of his fingers against the boy’s skin leaves a stain. Like poison, Hisoka is marking Gon as his, locking up his body with his touch, ensuring the last thing to ever cross Gon’s mind---will be him.  
  
The hunter is unaware of his purpose in this game or his role on this show. He is unaware of how _fleeting_ he himself is.  
  
Holding Gon’s cock near the base, Hisoka’s head drops down between the hunter’s legs as he takes the tip of the boy’s dick into his mouth. Giving small pumps near the base, he licks and sucks lightly on the head. Beneath him, the hunter squirms and moans. This feeling is foreign to him without a doubt, the heat of Hisoka’s mouth combined with the moisture of his tongue licking him, tasting him. A shudder runs down Gon’s spine, one of his hands coming to rest in the magician’s hair.  
  
“H-Hisoka!” The hunter moans, his legs spreading wider as the overwhelming warmth of orgasm begins to creep up. It’s an unbelievable feeling, one that has his toes curling and his voice refusing to obey. Gon doesn’t want to be making all of these embarrassing sounds, but he can’t help it. All of the questions he’d wanted to ask, the things he wanted to say, his tongue refused to form the words. Never before has the boy been so wrapped up in such an amazing feeling.  
  
Pulling his mouth away, Hisoka leans back and begins to stroke Gon’s cock swiftly and tightly. Precum messily dribbles as Gon’s breathing becomes more disrupted and heavy, it is like a violent wave building up inside of him, Hisoka’s hand only making the sensation more ferocious.  
  
Bringing his free hand up, the jester carefully palms the hunter’s balls, rolling them gently as Gon is tipped over the edge. A loud moan erupts from the boy as he squirms beneath Hisoka’s touch. The magician does not cease his strokes even as Gon orgasms, allowing the cum to coat his fingers as well as Gon’s chest.  
  
Although he’s fantasized about the sort of face and sounds Gon makes while cumming, imagining it versus seeing and hearing it in person are two distinctly different things. Just the sight excites him, his own cock throbbing to sink itself deep inside of Gon as the hunter rides out the end of his orgasm.  
  
The coming down from such a thrilling high is the point at which Gon begins to contemplate his decisions. In his mind, all he can see is Killua’s face, the sadness, betrayal, the complex emotions he would feel should he discover what Hisoka and him are doing. The knowledge that he’s betraying Killua’s trust hurts, but the selfish desire to be the first one to truly make Killua feel good overpowers any of his regret. He will keep this secret from Killua, he’ll make it up to him.  
  
“Now then…”  
  
The sound of the grocery bag rustling has Gon’s eyes opening finally. The orgasm had been intense enough to leave him feeling physically drained, but that is not an unusual side effect of training.  
The magician, still sitting on his knees, is now holding a small bottle containing a clear liquid. From his position, Gon can’t read the label to tell what it is. However, moments later, Hisoka holds the bottle up for him to see.  
  
“Normally, I prefer to draw things out. However, for various _reasons_ we don’t have that sort of time. Instead, we’re moving onto this part next. Do you know what this is?”  
  
Gon’s eyes sweep over the bottle, while he understands the words on it, he doesn’t understand what they are going to use it for. As Hisoka removes the plastic wrapping from the bottle, Gon begins to sit up only to be halted by Hisoka.  
  
“Ah-uh, stay laying down, Gon. It’s not time for you to get up yet.~♡” The hunter fails to catch the nefarious undertones in Hisoka’s words, or the way his eyes are filled not only with titillation, but also murderous intent. By all accounts, the boy is blind to the magician’s true intentions despite his earlier cautiousness.  
  
_‘He is still so trusting… How dangerous~.’_ Hisoka muses to himself. Peeling the last of the plastic wrapping from the bottle, he holds it in one hand, running his other hand down the inside of Gon’s thigh, sliding his palm over the hunter’s sensitive balls and dick before trailing his hand back up the the inside of his other thigh. Gon’s legs part further beneath his touch, opening himself to Hisoka’s hand, to the promised pleasure. The magician had anticipated it would take far longer to mould the boy into such a state, this level of cooperation is almost boring.

All the more reason to carry-out his job.  
  
“Without lube, a pleasurable encounter can become quite painful.” Hisoka opens the bottle before withdrawing his hand from where it had been exploring the smooth skin of Gon’s inner thighs. Pouring the liquid out onto his fingers, he casts it aside afterwards.  
  
“Do you feel good, Gon?” He asks, holding his lubed hand close to his chest as he crawls over the hunter. Having Gon beneath him felt so natural, so exciting, but also, incredibly dangerous. At this very moment, he wants to tear the boy limb from limb. He wants to sink his teeth into his flesh only to tear away all the important parts of him. To dangle the boy, to dangle Gon from his fingertips, to make him dance, bend, give, and cry. To play god and decide his fate as he does to many others whose faces he does not even recall.  
  
Having Gon beneath him excites his fantasies though the ending is far more grim than Gon believes.  
  
“Yeah… These are all things Killua will enjoy, right?” Gon is questioning Hisoka’s decisions with his tone, those fiery eyes gazing up at the magician are filled with nothing but Killua.

“Of course, as I said earlier, humans are easily categorized. You and Killua are quite compatible.” Hisoka leans down, his teeth finding Gon’s ear once more as he begins to nip and lick at it again. In response, Gon shudders, his trust in the jester slowly returning. The boy’s infallible trust in the Zoldyck, the way his mind operates around Killua.

That is why Gon is now trapped.  
  
_In a sense, this is all Killua’s fault._

Hisoka’s fingers prod the hunter’s entrance, a single wet digit finding its way inside as Gon squirms beneath him. The feeling is strange and foreign, but the hunter is trusting Hisoka the same way he trusted him during the volleyball match on Greed Island. Hisoka is usually upfront about not being on his side, so that means that right now, he can be trusted.  
  
“You better be right, if I did all of this for nothing then I’ll be angry.”  
  
The jester grins, the unnatural sight most comparable to cracked obsidian. An unsettling look sets itself across his gaze, his aura flickering with an overwhelming excitement as he suddenly thrusts a second finger into the hunter. It is difficult to be patient with such a well-earned treat. For all of the chances he had to unwrap his present early, for each opportunity where Gon presented himself unknowingly, Hisoka had waited so many years…

Though, this is not the fight he desired, this outcome promises more bountiful fruit than Gon alone could ever offer.  
  
As the magician’s fingers locate Gon’s prostate, those sweet, honest moans fill the room again. The hunter’s hands relocate from where they had been pulling at the duvet, to Hisoka’s back where he begins to pull and claw at his skin in desperation. While his fingers play the tune of Gon’s pleasure, his lips travel down to Gon’s neck, biting the thin skin, uncaring if he leaves a mark.  
  
After-all, Killua will never know.  
  
“Hisoka…” The boy begins to complain, voice strained between moans as he struggles to get the words out.  
  
“Hmm? Is something wrong?” He does not care. If the boy desires to end this right now, Hisoka would oblige, but simple complaints mean nothing. Gon’s voice is becoming soundless.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
It is unexpected, so much so that Hisoka’s bites to Gon’s neck pause briefly before the same, depraved concupiscence wells up once more. Restraining himself is becoming harder and harder, but he is required to hold back to some degree. To get what he really wants, that is.  
  
Spreading his fingers inside of Gon, he is not as thorough as he should be, partly due to his restlessness. This isn’t progressing quickly enough. Perhaps prepping him at all had been a mistake, it should be all or nothing.  
A third finger is added, albeit a bit early. The rush of the addition is marked by Gon’s obvious tensing, the way it takes him longer to relax than usual, and the choppy interruption in his breathing. Hisoka is pushing him, testing his limits with no concern for his comfort. Nothing about this is for Gon, although the jester enjoys the sounds he makes and the expressions on his face, he will enjoy the conjured expression of _fear_ and _hopelessness_ far more. What sort of face does a determined kid like Gon make seconds before death?

Everything is too soon suddenly.  
Overflowing exhilaration prompts the magician to extract his fingers, Gon’s moans quieting at the ceasing of his pleasure. Inside, the hunter is thankful the onslaught of pleasure has ended, it would be embarrassing if he came again in such little time. But then again, he’s also thankful that such a thing is possible. If he were to give that amount of pleasure to Killua… If he made Killua feel so good that he couldn’t help himself… Then that would make this worth it.  
More than anything, he wants to make Killua happy.  
  
Gon’s can hear the sound of Hisoka pulling his own pants down, he knows he should not take it _this_ far, but he also can’t help his curiosity. Perhaps this had been a bad idea after-all… But what else could he have done?  
  
As he feels Hisoka’s cock pressing against his entrance, the boy hesitates, the word ‘stop’ lingers on the tip of his tongue, but his ability to speak is destroyed as the magician begins to push inside. It is a difficult feeling for Gon to process, between pain and interest and pleasure and regret. Certainly, he had other options. Why had he agreed to this? Why would he risk Killua’s trust in him, Killua’s happiness? Why would he risk his future with the most important person in his life?  
  
Gon’s teeth grit together as Hisoka’s hands come to wrap around his elbows. Holding the hunter’s arms like handles, he pushes his engorged cock all the way into the hunter’s body, relishing in the moans and flinches of discomfort. Hisoka is releasing himself into this feeling. This is repayment for the tortured years spent waiting for _nothing._  
  
“Hhhhaaa!” Gon’s voice is twisted with pain as the magician’s dick fits itself fully inside of him. Although his instincts advise him to relax or risk injury, he finds it difficult to do so.  
  
“Amazing, our bodies are so compatible.~♡” The magician purrs, unmoving as he graciously allows the boy a few minutes to adjust. He is not ignorant to the discomfort plaguing the body beneath him, but he also cares nothing for Gon’s pain. All of it will be irrelevant soon. Gon’s existence is now for the sole purpose of allowing Hisoka a taste of what nobody has ever had. A taste of what he forbade himself until the time was right.  
  
Having Hisoka’s hips between his legs forced Gon’s thighs to spread wider than they had so far. Slowly, he is beginning to relax around the jester, his body more willing to allow the intrusion despite his discomfort.  
  
_‘This is for Killua…’_ _  
_ _  
_ Gon does not allow himself to forget, even as Hisoka begins to slowly pull out again, Gon does not forget Killua’s face or the reason he is enduring such training.  
  
As the magician thrusts back into him, the hunter moans loudly, his body already feeling a little abused by Hisoka’s size as the jester begins to find a comfortable rhythm. The pace of his thrusts become slow, but hard, his hands tightly gripping Gon’s arms as he continues to utilize his body. At this point, Gon no longer believes they are training. Hisoka is having sex with him because he wants to. That is probably how it had always been.

_‘Well, you’re just a little naive sometimes. But that’s why we work well together! You notice the things that I don’t sometimes too. And I notice things that you don’t. Don’t get angry! We’re friends!”_

Killua’s words replay in his mind, his lips pressing in a firm line. He is committed to this decision at least, he’ll follow through because he told Hisoka he would. But he will not fall for the magician’s tricks again.  
  
Hisoka re-angles his thrusts, ensuring his cock will brush against the hunter’s prostate. As Gon’s moans become more consistent, he releases his arms. Grabbing instead to Gon’s knees as he forces them against his chest. Using his bungee gum, he secures them in place, his eyes drawing down to where his cock disappears inside the boy’s body.  
  
“Delicious… I’m glad I waited.” There is something deeply unnerving about the tone of Hisoka’s voice. Although the jester has always spoken with a confident, smooth tone, something far more sinister laces his words now.  
  
As the magician’s cock assaults his hole, the hunter moans grow in volume once more, allowing his voice to fully escape. He has already begun to lose track of time, Killua could be walking down the hall to their suite right now. Before even entering the room, Killua would be able to hear his pleasured cries from outside their door. Such a thing should be his top concern, however, all Gon can think about now is the unimaginable feeling of Hisoka’s dick thrusting into him, and the sounds Killua will make as Gon provides him this level of pleasure himself.  
  
Bathed in the circumstances of Gon’s unraveling, Hisoka presses his hands to Gon’s knees, thrusting faster now as he approaches climax. He has used Gon for as much use as he can get within an hour, although his ideal circumstances would have allotted him several days, the sounds and expressions he’s seen and heard are more than enough to sate his current degeneracy.  
  
Gripping tight to the hunter’s knees, Hisoka gives a final, hard thrust, his hips pressed firmly against Gon’s ass as he cums. From the way the boy twitches and moans around his cock, the magician assumes he has also met his climax once more.  
  
“What a good boy.” He taunts as a wicked smile raises his lips.  
  
Beneath him, Gon appears to be catching his breath, his entire body shuddering as Hisoka slowly begins to pull out. Another round would be ideal, Hisoka would love nothing more than to continue fucking Gon, to exhaust the hunter until he struggles to speak his own name. In another world, he will not wait nearly as long to attain his goal, he will _take_ what is dangled before his eyes without a care.  
  
“You weren’t training me were you?” Gon finally asks, his knees still secured against his chest as the magician slips the rest of his dick out.  
  
“Hmm? Does it upset you? You sounded like you were having a good time~.” Taking hold of the waistband of his pants, Hisoka pulls them back up before retrieving his top from where he’d cast it aside on the bed earlier.  
  
“I don’t like it when you trick me, Hisoka. But I can also use the things you did with Killua, so I’m not that angry.” The boy turns his head towards the open window, the curtains continuing to dance in the breeze.  
  
“It’s unfortunate such an opportunity will not be provided to you love birds.” Hisoka gives a short laugh, pulling his top over his head before smoothing out any wrinkles. His words draw Gon’s gaze away from the window, the passionate brown eyes now filled with uncertainty.  
  
“Why not? Where’s Killua?”  
The formerly compliant boy is a mess of struggles suddenly, however, his strength is no match for the jester’s bungee gum, even less so as Hisoka’s hands come to grip Gon’s wrists, pulling hard until he’s crossed the boy’s arms over his knees, securing them with more of his bungee gum. It is at this moment that the alarm bells begin to sound within Gon’s mind.

 _Well, you’re just a little naive sometimes. But that’s why we work well together!”_ _  
_ _  
_ Killua’s words play over-and-over, a sonata of ignorance to add to the cacophony of regret. Hisoka is dangerous, and Gon no longer has the assurance that his life will be safe.  
  
“Rest assured, no harm has come to Killua. In-fact, he is probably still running errands right now. While his boyfriend stayed home to fuck the enemy.” Hisoka laughs again as he picks Gon up, suddenly, his aura is more like slime, the darkness of his intentions obscuring the neon pink of his nen and turning it black instead.  
  
It is a beautiful Spring day outside, but within Hisoka’s arms, it is nothing but dark.  
  
“Put me down!” Gon snaps as his Ren aggressively expands around him, he can sense the danger he’d been ignoring this whole time. It is overwhelming, a feeling he could easily drown in. How can Hisoka create something so dark? This feeling is almost as bad as Pitou.  
  
Hisoka carries the hunter into the kitchen, his footsteps loudly tapping against the wood floors the same way Killua’s had earlier. As Gon moves to open his mouth again, he’s quickly silenced by Hisoka who uses his bungee gum like a gag. Standing in the middle of the kitchen, the pit growing in Gon’s stomach tells him that this is likely the end.  
_This can’t be it, this can’t be right. He’s finally stronger, he’s supposed to be so talented, he’d finally found Ging, Killua finally confessed, he’s finally happy..._  
  
“Now…”  
  
Hisoka grabs the handle to the oven, pulling it open before taking out the top rack. Setting it aside, he carefully places the bound and gagged boy atop the lowest rack, his body barely fitting inside the cold oven. However, the jester had accounted for that when he first thought up this plan. The concern over the size of the oven and Gon’s growth is what had prompted him to secure the boy into a ball in the first place.  
  
“I love that look in your eyes.” Hisoka stands up straight again, gazing down at the boy if only to admire the terrified look which has overtaken his features. For the first time, Hisoka can make out actual hatred in Gon’s eyes, the flame of determination now blazes with blood lust.  
  
“Surely you already know that had you been a little more cautious, this may not have happened. Of course, in that case I would’ve taken you out another way, this is a job after all.”  
  
The way Gon’s eyebrows knit in confusion spreads another grin across Hisoka’s face, crouching down in-front of the oven, he rests his arms atop his knees in an extremely casual stance.  
  
“Ah? You haven’t realized it yet? Do you remember what I told you earlier? About making an enemy of the Zoldyck’s for your relationship with Killua?” Hisoka waits until Gon has given a single nod to continue.  
  
“So long as Killua is with you, the Zoldyck’s don’t think he’ll come back. So Illumi made a request, and I can’t ignore dear Illumi’s requests.”  
  
Gon had been so worried about Killua, he forgot about himself. _Charming._

Hisoka stands up straight again, running his palm roughly over his groin before licking his lips. This time crunch is really annoying, it wouldn’t take much effort to pull Gon out of the oven and fuck him one more time. In that helpless position, the hunter looks even more delicious.  
_  
_ Reaching forward, Hisoka presses the power button for the oven, programming it for four hundred and fifty degrees fahrenheit. As the oven clicks on, Hisoka can hear the screams from Gon beneath the bungee gum. He is likely pleading for his life, or cursing Hisoka’s name for what he’s done. It doesn’t matter.  
  
“Bye-bye.”  
  
Closing the oven door, Hisoka snatches a water bottle from the fridge, ignoring the muffled screams as he lets himself out.

* * *

****

Killua’s hands are full by the time he makes it back. Initially, he had texted Gon, asking him what he wanted for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. However, Gon had never bothered to reply to him, not that such a thing is unusual for Gon.  
  
“Bet he fell asleep.” Killua mumbles to himself, setting down a few bags as he digs out his keycard.  
  
After the door lock blinks green, the Zoldyck collects his bags again, awkwardly letting himself into their suite. As the door closes behind him, his eyes sweep over the bedroom only to see that Gon is not asleep on the bed as he had expected. Not only that, but a rotten stench is in the air, similar to a dead animal on a hot summer's day.  
  
“Gon?” He calls out, only the faint sounds of traffic and wind audible.  
  
Sighing, he carries the bags into the kitchen, setting them down on the counter before glancing to the oven as the flame clicks back on. He hadn't expected his boyfriend to begin cooking anything, but whatever Gon is cooking smells pretty bad.  
  
“You couldn’t wait until I got back to start cooking? You’re so impatient! I even brought that curry you love! Geez!”  
  
Beginning to unpack some of the food he had purchased, Killua begins to find it difficult to calm the anxiety which has begun to drip through his veins. He cannot see a reason for it outright, so he attributes it to his gut. Gon and him are close enough that Gon always claims a sixth sense about knowing when something is wrong with Killua. Something like that goes both ways right? What if something is wrong?  
Shaking his head, Killua huffs again, a futile attempt at dismissing his unfounded concerns. It's not like Gon can be kidnapped, not really, and nobody knows where they are, Killua had made sure of that.  
  
“Gon? Seriously, where are you? It smells like your food is burning! Don’t start a fire!” The lack of a response begins to grate on Killua’s nerves, pushing the groceries away, he turns around to begin searching. Surely even Gon wouldn’t be so irresponsible as to leave while in the middle of cooking, but why hadn't he left a note or texted him? Just how careless can Gon be?  
**  
** “It smells so rotten.” He adds as he scrunches his nose, mumbling to himself about the huge burgers they had planned to get. It isn't just that Killua is excited for the burgers, the burgers had just been a pretense to another surprise. Though, Gon probably isn't even hungry now.  
  
Wandering from room-to-room, Killua checks the bedroom and bathroom, finding only traces of Gon, but not Gon himself. The last place his feet carry him is back to the kitchen, his heart beginning to pound as the darker part of him whispers the possibilities. It’s not possible, not really. Killua reminds himself that they’re both pro-hunters, they’re strong, Gon killed Pitou, he’s taken down so many impossible enemies, Gon is special.  
  
His throat feels dry, sweat beading on his forehead as he reaches for the oven’s control panel. Turning it off first, he tries to force a laugh. He’s being silly, Gon is just a shitty cook. He’ll come inside any minute now, he’ll apologize for being so stupid as to leave while cooking, they’ll bicker then everything will be normal again.  
  
Shakily, Killua reaches for the handle to the oven. **  
**


	2. Part 1.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything feels unstoppable.

Moisture collects between his fingers as they wrap around the oven door handle. To his left, he is faintly aware of a metal oven rack leaning against the lower cabinet. The pounding of his own heart is the loudest sound, deadening the sounds from the still-open window in the bedroom.

_ ‘No… _

_        No more….’ _

A thick knot forms in his throat, his teeth clenched tightly together as he tries to garner the strength to open the oven, to peer inside. Any minute now… Any second… now… Gon will… appear in the doorway…

In his mind, Killua can see it so clearly. He can see Gon’s smile lighting up the room, he can feel the way the boy will release the crushing weight from his shoulders. Gon is the only one he wants to see right now.

The metal door creaks as it’s pulled open, Killua can feel himself draining as the first wave of hot air greets his face.  _ He’ll melt through the floor, he’ll vanish from this existence, he’ll cease to feel. _

The rancid stench of burning flesh causes his eyes to water, his teeth gritting together as his eyes slowly begin to focus on the sight before him. It is a hardened, dark shape lumped up inside of the oven. Its skin a glossy black, smoke pouring from where the hair and other organs had begun to melt under the heat.   
  
Killua’s teeth part before slamming together again, his knees wobble and shake as moans of desperation begin to form in his throat. 

_ A cruel trick, _

_               that is all… _

_                                 this is… just a cruel trick _   
  
Heat greets his palm as he reaches into the oven, almost desperately yet lacking any rush. He wraps his hand around the arm of the body, his own skin burning from the contact as the void begins to pull at him. Killua is drowning in himself, drowning in denial, in hope, in sadness.    
_  
_ _ This isn’t possible. _

He must be under the control of one of Illumi’s needles. Illumi is forcing him to see this.

_ This isn’t real. _

_ “No…” _

No longer aware of the pain from the blisters forming on his palm, Killua pulls on the body balled up inside the oven, gasps of breathlessness wrack his body as he turns the body to face him.

_ To see. _

This doesn't feel real, his soul shivers inside his body. This nightmare, this heaviness, it's a violent and dark plague of which he’ll soon wake up from.

Surely…

Gon’s smile crosses his mind again, the way his boyfriend laughs, the way he blushes, the eagerness held within in his gaze even as Killua had nudged his wandering hands away…

The rotten, dark possibilities will vanish once he confirms that this is not his boyfriend, his light.

As he frees one shoulder of the body from where it had burned into the metal floor of the oven, he turns the stranger to face him.

The pounding of his own heart is strong enough to have him teetering from where he sits propped by his knees. Every few seconds, the war his heart rages spreads a pain throughout his body, one undefined and unlimited. 

_ Gon can’t. _

_ Stop it…. _

Vomit crawls up the Zoldyck’s throat. He’d known this scent from the moment he’d entered the suite. The pungent stench of burning flesh, of a corpse deconstructing under a flame. Denial pulls hard at the back of his mind, his free hand tightening around the oven handle until it crunches beneath his strength.

This is a nightmare, a hallucination, this isn’t real, it can’t be real, he can’t lose Gon, he can’t embrace this emptiness again.

Wide blue eyes come to rest on the face of the boy curled up before him. For the briefest of moments, the world around him freezes. Silence spreads throughout the suite as an icy pain courses through his veins.

As his heart stills inside his chest...   
  
_ Someone… help me… _

What used to be a human face, is now a blackened and charred mess. Unrecognizable, playing into his hope that somehow this isn’t Gon. Those large, brown eyes are now missing, endless voids in their place as shriveled fingers rest against the burned skin of Gon’s back. The heat of the oven has melted away so much flesh that Killua allows himself, for a moment, to believe that this isn’t Gon.

It can’t be Gon

A pervasive swell of nausea ignites within the boy. His movements are shaky as unwilling limbs stagger him to his feet, running to the nearby sink before emptying his stomach. The smell alone isn’t what has his stomach twisted into such complicated knots, the smell is nothing more than a sign of the truth he doesn't want to face. 

Painful sobs erupt from him as he vomits again. Killua is afraid to look, to once again bear witness to the truth. This isn't real, that isn't Gon, this isn't happening.

A flurry of emotions attacks him from all sides, his mind now a tangled mess as he stares into the sullied sink. His cries are loud, unrestrained as he collapses against the counter, his legs refusing to bear his weight as more vomit forces its way up his already stinging throat.

This is unbearable, a pain he thought he’d left behind at NGL. One that wraps its tendrils around him, covering his body, weighing it down. This pain is swallowing him whole.

Physical pain blossoms where his heart should be, causing him to clutch at his t-shirt as more vomit rises from his stomach. Gasps, sobs, wails of horror and sadness consume him as he vomits once more before sinking to the floor. Even if he doesn't want to believe it's true, he knows, and the knowing is what begins to tear away at his being. ********  
  


      Hours pass, but for Killua, time stands still. The suite is now void of even Killua’s desperate cries, nothing looks the same, nothing feels right, even his own breathing feels like betrayal. Each breath his traitorous body takes comes out shuddered and heavy. Should he die too? Would it make this feeling go away?

In the back of his mind, he's begging for a different end. 

Why Gon?

Why not him?

Killua would rather die than experience this…

_ “Give him back…”  _ The Zoldyck’s broken voice whispers to the silence.

From the corner of the kitchen, Killua’s eyes do not move from Gon’s body. The painful sight is distorted by the tears which overflow from his eyes. Unstoppable, like time, like death. Killua is powerless.

For as many people as he’d killed, for as many as he’d helped or saved…

He couldn’t save the most important person.

How useless is he? 

Inside, a hollowness overtakes his being. The hollowness expands across his organs, taking over each vein, artery, masking all of his bones and freezing his heart. There is nothing left for him to vomit, there is nothing for him to do. At this moment, his burned and blistered hands want to find Gon’s skin again, to pull him close and hold him, but his body is no longer listening to him. 

The torturous maze of his mind leads him in circles again-and-again-and-again. Images replay before his eyes, of Gon leaning out the window this morning, of his whines about Killua leaving him, of his excitement about the burgers they were supposed to have.

Today was supposed to be special… Tonight… was supposed to be… It was… supposed to be…

Stomach acid burns Killua’s already ravaged throat, the tears pouring down his face do nothing to quell the emptiness inside of him.

Slumped against the wall, the former assassin’s teeth clench again, swallowing the stomach acid before it can reach his tongue. All of the torture training he’d done as a child, all of the missions he’d gone on, all of the time he’d spent developing his nen and training to become stronger.

None of it was as painful as this.

Consumed by hopelessness, without purpose, without desire, Killua sinks into himself, into nothing.

 

* * *

  
  
Time is unreachable. Unattainable. Time is without form, desire. Time is a consistent, quiet killer.

Time is a thief, robbing Killua of all that he has left. Time is painful, a reminder.

Time is unstoppable.

Everything feels unstoppable.

Killua does not know how long he’d been curled up in the corner of the kitchen. What he does know, is that the oven is no longer giving off heat, and that it's now dark inside, outside, everywhere.

Gon never came home. 

The Zoldyck’s stomach growls, the sensation draws nausea heavy through his body. Somehow, surviving is now a confusing experience. What does he do now? What is he supposed to do?

For the first time in hours, Killua’s gaze departs from the burned corpse. The overwhelming pain is slightly quelled by one comforting thought: That he hasn't yet confirmed the body to be Gon. That he won't believe it without proof. It is unimaginable enough that Killua bites his lower lip to secure his resolve. It feels shaky, weak, but he is drowning and this is all he has.

Getting up from the floor, the teen doesn't dare spare a glance in the direction of the oven. Instead, Killua slowly retreats to the bedroom to examine what is left. He may come to understand where Gon went if he looks.

Beneath the luxurious decoration and careful accenting, the Zoldyck can't help but sense an underlying horror and ugliness. The suite had been beautiful when they arrived, yet now he only wanted to be as far from it as possible. From the open window, a chilly night breeze sweeps through the room. In it are the smells of the city; asphalt, pollution… ‘nothing’.nothing… or perhaps Killua’s senses have begun to abandon him.

The scents he can pick up are better than what lingers in the kitchen, and so Killua persists. 

Dragging his eyes over the bed, the teen takes in the sight of rumpled covers, pillows in disarray, but otherwise sees nothing unusual. Approaching the bed, Killua pulls back the comforter, sliding between the sheets before grabbing a nearby pillow, pulling it close to inhale Gon’s scent. This isn't what he should be doing, he should be actively working to figure out who the corpse in the oven used to be. However… fear prevents the Zoldyck from acting. He doesn't want to know. If he refuses to find out, then he can search endlessly for his lost boyfriend. He could find him somewhere between towns, napping beside a river. 

They can work it out. 

Wrapping himself up tighter in the blankets, he breathes in Gon’s scent again. The smell is comforting, for a second, he's able to convince himself that Gon is asleep beside him.

Killua isn't alone.

If he hadn't left for the store, if he'd given into Gon’s whines and taken a nap with him instead, he wouldn't have to feel this. He wouldn't have to wrap himself in Gon’s scent just to make sure he doesn't forget, and he wouldn't be desperately wracking his brain for the exact moment everything went wrong. Why would Gon leave him? Why didn't Gon talk to him? Why didn't Killua realize Gon had been unhappy?

Why had he been so selfish?

Closing his eyes, the riptide of denial pulls the Zoldyck deeper into the depths of despondency. This isn't the way he should be handling this, but Killua feels as though he's made of glass. For now, he just wants to lay here.

Turning over to face the door, the former assassin remains buried beneath the covers, smothered in the scent of his lover. The exhaustion of the day allows sleep to capture Killua swiftly.

The teen’s dreams are dominated by images of Gon. Gon laughing, tugging on his hand, Gon’s fingers running through his hair as he teases Killua for his untrimmed tresses. In his dreams, Killua himself is laughing, his chest overflowing with warmth directed at the boy before him. If it were allowed, he would remain within this dream forever.   
Killua can’t,  _ won’t _ , let Gon go.

The following morning, Killua is spread across the bed, tastes, smells,and sensations of the dream still lingering around him as he hugs the duvet close to his body. His sleep wrought with pain had only lasted a couple of hours, last night would’ve been their first time. Gon’s nervous hands touching him, Killua’s anxious breaths shuddering beneath Gon’s fingers. Sights and images he would wish to have captured on film for a lifetime; would instead be locked away in memory only.

Waking up is painful, empty.

Rolling over on the bed too large and comfortable for just himself only, his calf brushes against an object beneath the covers. The unexpected touch causes him to pause for a moment. Had Gon forgotten something? Is it a hint on where Killua might find him?

Reaching for it, the Zoldyck sits up, the covers now strewn from his restless sleep as he brings the item out from beneath the warm safety of the duvet. 

“Lube?” He mumbles in confusion. 

Pulling the covers away, The Zoldyck’s eyes search the bed. A suspicious yet familiar stain marrs one area near the center of the sheets, oblong and whispering tales even the walls would never speak of. Nearby, a slip of white paper peers out from beneath the covers.

Reaching forth, Killua pulls the paper out from where it had been hiding. These past few hours have been increasingly traumatic and difficult for him, but of course a receipt is a huge hint. Grasping desperately at what Killua perceives to be ‘hope’, he slowly begins to allow his mind to wander away from the corpse in the kitchen, away from his missing lover. 

This piece of paper is proof that Gon is alive.

Under different circumstances, the assassin would not even be here. This hotel is compromised, someone had been murdered here, or maybe murdered elsewhere then relocated here for unknown reasons. Under different circumstances, he would have relocated by now rather than wallowing in undue misery.

Life breathes back into the Zoldyck, his formerly weary expression now hardening with a new goal: to find Gon. To make it right.

His gaze draws back to the paper in his hand, it’s a receipt bearing the name of a local adult store, the only item on it is the lube.

Frowning, Killua checks the timestamp, Gon left to buy this while Killua was out shopping. Had it been for tonight? The mere thought causes a blush to cross his face and ears, Gon has always been a little more brazen than Killua in this regard. It is something which has always made the teen a bit jealous. If he could match Gon’s courage with these things, if he could instigate rather than refuse, then wouldn't their relationship deepen? Perhaps… he’ll work on it while he searches for Gon. Perhaps Gon left because he felt put-off by Killua’s constant refusal.

Crossing his legs, the Zoldyck leans back against the headboard as his eyes draw further down the receipt to the payment method. Although he fully expects to read ‘Freecss, Gon’, he is instead greeted by another name. 

‘Morow, Hisoka’

Killua stares at the name printed in small, black ink, his gaze distorting as the walls whisper their secrets too quietly for him to hear. Why had Hisoka been here? Or maybe Gon went to meet him? But why would Gon meet with the enemy? Did they run into each other at the adult store? Did Hisoka buy the lube because Gon was too nervous?

Killua knows how unlikely that scenario is, however, he subtly clings to the possibility. He wants to cling to anything other than the other possibilities running through the background of his thoughts. 

Pushing the dark thoughts away, Killua crushes the receipt in his hand. Maybe Hisoka tricked Gon, maybe he abducted him. The magician did always have an odd interest in the other teen, If he finds Hisoka, then he’ll find Gon…

The hollowness inside the teen expands once more, the truth nips at his heels as he runs faster and faster away.

He will find Hisoka, and then he’ll find Gon. But before he can do that, he must first have something done about the body in the oven. Killua distances himself from the corpse, refusing to look at it, to refer to it as a person. It is an object, a thing, it no longer  _ is _ . Killua and Gon are still alive, they’ve survived for this long.

That is all that matters.

Shoving the receipt into his pocket, Killua slides off the bed with the lube still in hand. The next hour is spent collecting their belongings. Gon’s clothes, the food, any other items they’d left spread around the suite in the short time they’ve been here. It’s strange that Gon would leave without his wallet, without his shoes, without his clothes, but the fact that these things remain only makes his theory of abduction more likely. Hisoka must’ve taken Gon against his will, the body in the oven was to throw him off. How could he fall for something like that? They could be anywhere by now, Gon is suffering because  _ he _ wasted time feeling sorry for himself.

There is no time for Killua to be angry with himself. Instead, he sets their backpacks next to the door, digging his phone out of his pocket before dialing Bisky’s number.

The suite is mostly silent aside from the sounds of the call beginning to dial out. A few rings pass unanswered, the teen’s anxiety swelling with each extra second he’s made to wait. He’ll have to keep waiting.    
  
“Hello?” Bisky’s voice interrupts the ringing, in the background, he can hear what sounds like a TV blaring.    
  
“Bisky, it’s me. I need your help.”    
  
Compared to yesterday, the Zoldyck’s voice is now more stable, his free hand digging into his pocket as he crosses the bedroom to the open window.    
  
“Huh? It’s unlike you to ask for favors. Did something happen?”    
  
The teen’s hand presses against the window frame, his eyes scanning the city, looking but unseeing. A breeze rustles Killua’s clothes, his lips parting before closing again as he tries to force the words out. He knows, he knows that is not Gon in there, and yet, some part of his mind continues to make a painful connection with the corpse in the oven. It should mean nothing to him.   
  
“Yeah, sorta. Gon’s missing, Hisoka was here… And he left someone in the oven. I don’t know what to do with the body or who it belongs to.” Killua’s voice is far more broken now, his teeth gritting after he forces the words out as he waits for Bisky’s response. The silence that follows is unlike her, he can almost feel her aura hardening through the phone.

“Gon is missing?” She finally asks after a few minutes have passed. In the background, Killua can hear the TV being turned down.    
  
“I left to buy food, and when I came back he was gone. I think Hisoka has him, but I can’t leave this corpse here for the maids to discover. I would go through my old connections, but I need an autopsy.”    


The word ‘need’ plagues Killua’s tongue. Why does he  _ need _ one? He doesn’t know this person, and he already knows how they died. Why does it matter? Why does anything matter? He should’ve taken the body out last night and left it in a shallow grave for the dogs.

A knot forms in Killua’s throat. 

“I see… The hunter association would be better than the normal police. Send me your location, I’ll call them, then I’ll be there as soon as I can. Don’t go anywhere, OK?”    
  
The Zoldyck’s body shakes, fear, anxiety, desperation, hopelessness, nothing. He doesn’t want to know who that used to be, he wants to find Hisoka. If he finds Hisoka then he’ll know everything he needs to know.

“Sorry, I know this is selfish but I can’t stick around. I have to find Hisoka and I know somebody who keeps up with that guy’s movements. I’ll keep my phone on me, you can call me if anything comes up.”    
  
Bisky’s voice immediately cuts in, her sharp tone telling Killua not to move from that place being cut off as the former assassin abruptly ends the call. He allows himself two breaths of the city air, two final breaths of the hotel room. This crushing wave of emotions needs to be dealt with now. He can’t wait. He can’t abandon Gon.   
  
Almost immediately his phone begins to vibrate and ring again, Bisky’s name appearing on screen. Staring at his phone for a few seconds, the Zoldyck’s lips press together in a firm line. Although his resolve has already been cemented as Gon being alive, as Hisoka having abducted him, the gnawing pain continues to rage behinds the closed doors of his mind. Like rapids barely contained by brittle rocks, Killua is hardly able to convince himself of the truth he wants most.

Instead of answering, Killua allows it to go to voicemail. With the silence returned to him, he takes a moment to send her his location, including the hotel room number and the fact that he is leaving a window open. 

Afterwards, the teen shoves his phone into his pocket before collecting their backpacks and vacating the area.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't usually post short things---but think of this as a connecting or branch chapter. Everything has been carefully planned out already.

**Author's Note:**

>  **Side note:** _This isn't tagged as character death because it's meant to be a shock. You don't pick up a book at the library and know immediately that a main character dies in it. It's a surprise. You read to find out what happens, you retain some sort of hope that the character will escape this situation and survive. If you go into it knowing it's hopeless, it dulls the effect. I do not tag character death in any of my fics for this reason. Read it the same way you'd read a book at the library._  
> 


End file.
